A poem, a song and an online retreat; plus a very honest Carousel check-in...
Hello Carousellers,
Happy 1st March and return of the light in the northern hemisphere.
I've spent the weekend out in nature and have remembered just how much I need it to feel sane. I'm hoping you've all managed to get some vitamin D too. There is light at the end of the tunnel for lockdown in the UK, but it's also coming with some trepidation and anxiety around things 'opening up'. Will we still know how to socialise? What is the in-person equivalent of the 'leave meeting' button?
In this newsletter I share a poem I wrote about this in-between time, a comedy song about wanting lockdown to be over, and an exciting event I'm co-running with Mandorla for International Women's Day this Sunday 7th, plus some other great offerings from this community.
Wishing you all a gorgeous Monday.
Sarah x
Ps. For those of you who are new here, Carousel is a model that supports you to work intuitively with your many projects and interests, and this newsletter consists of musings to support you to live in this way. You can read up more here.
ONLINE CREATIVE RETREAT - SUNDAY 7th MARCH
It's been years since I have run in-person Creative Retreats, so I'm really excited to be co-hosting an online one this Sunday 7th with Mandorla Events.
''You are invited to a nourishing morning of creative activity to help you connect to yourself and other womxn to celebrate International Womxn's Day between 10:30am -1:30pm.
Choose from a menu of workshops including Storytelling with Kim Willis from Heroine's Journey, Art Therapy with Zaira Mughal, Nature-Connection with eco-therapist Jenna Blencowe, Play with Natasha Blok from Toucantoo, and Improv with internationally reknowned improv legend Katy Schutte, among others. You can also join an intersectional safe space, or simply sit back and be bathed in live music: the morning is yours.
This online event is FREE to attend for anyone who identifies as a womxn, and we are encouraging donations towards our two charities: Imkaan and The Girls' Network.
The day will begin and end with opening and closing ceremonies to help ground and bring us together for the shared retreat experience, so please do come for the full experience!''
Please share with any womxn in your networks who may be interested - maybe sign up with a few friends for a fun morning together.
'SO DONE' - Lockdown 3 Corrs Parody
After our house hits (as in where we live, rather than music genre) for Lockdown 1 and Lockdown 2, it was time to bring the spirit of Lockdown 3 into musical form. I loved getting into a 4 day creative hyper-focus to make this: learning how to use Garage Band and enjoying the self-indulgence of harmonising with myself, and reconnecting with my favourite 90s legends... Click on the photo to watch the song on YouTube.
THERE IS WORK TO BE DONE IN THE IN-BETWEEN
There is work to be done in the in between.
The void.
The chrysalis.
When you’ve walked away from ‘’what’s-come-before’
Closed the chapter, declared it no longer relevant.
Announced it, felt it in your bones
Complete
Done.
But the new identity is not here yet.
You’re in a holding pen.
A shuttle bus from one terminal to the next.
Back stage in the wings for an unknown play with a script I’m yet to learn, not sure when to step out.
I think I see glimmers of it...
Fully formed shapes appear before me, but as I close in I see they are merely fractals of light, holograms dispersing between my fingers as I try to grasp them.
I want to turn back, pull the chord on the shuttle bus, head back through the stage door.
But it’s bolted shut.
It would be strange now, to return.
I start to feel claustrophobic, but calling out all I can hear here are the cold echoes of my own groaning voice.
This one is to be done alone.
I start to panic that maybe the door in front will never open, that I will be trapped here, with my thoughts unravelling, and my skin slowly shedding.
Maybe I am truly losing it.
But there’s work to be done here, in this darkness.
To walk right through would be easier, sure, but teleporting myself would be discombobulating too, like turning up to a 9am meeting still drunk from the night before… you’ve physically arrived, but you’re not ready for it.
And everyone can feel it.
‘You should go home’ - they tell you -
‘’Get some rest.’’
I spy a marker pen - one thick black pen - and I begin to write on the metal walls. I write MY story. MY version. I choose the protagonists and the heroines and the plot twists. I find tenderness in the disappointment and humour in the sudden changes. I celebrate every day of the journey that has led me to this moment. Every Damn Day.
It isn’t easy.
At times, the heroine becomes the victim, the fool. But at others she is the priestess and the magician.
There are a million versions of the events and I get to choose which ones I tell, which ones to take with me and which ones to leave behind.
The walls are covered in stories. And I stand back, now truly complete.
There is work to be done in the in-between.
I wrote this as part of The Heroine's Journey Storytelling Challenge - see 'community offerings' for more information about Kim's upcoming course.
PODCAST RECOMMENDATIONS
Maisie Hill on Productivity - the pressure to be productive, and even shame that comes up when we have been productive in lockdown.
Adam Buxton talking to Elizabeth Day - a really moving and HUMAN conversation about life, success and failure in all its forms.
Brene Brown with Drs John and Julie Gottman - talking about how to have loving conversations during conflict - very insightful!
COMMUNITY OFFERINGS
The Storytelling Adventure
I wrote the poem in this newsletter as part of the Heroine Journey's Storytelling Challenge last month. Kim is running another 6-week small group journey this month. Unleash the power of your stories to increase your impact in the world. Apply here
The Elevation - Saturday 13th March 4pm GMT A free masterclass with award-winning Psychologist Natasha Tiwari on her process for healing stress, anxiety and trauma, and elevating into joy, confidence and evidence based manifestation.
Pop-up Boogie - Thursdays 8pm GMT
A chance to express yourself and have fun! Side effects are exercise and joy...
See footage from last week
Cosmic Playground - Friday 5th March 7-10pm GMT
A dating / connection event for singles, 5 different areas to explore. Me and another friend will be doing comedy love tarot in one of the breakout rooms.
WHAT'S ON MY CAROUSEL?
Coaching + tutoring; starting a podcasting course to help me package up and launch all the incredible conversations I've had over the past few months about quitting; learning how to use Garage Band; DJing for my friends online festival party (the closest to a festival in years! - see photo below); running moon ceremonies; the online Creative Retreat this Sunday; and performing at a comedy night on Sunday evening.
An honest reflection on my current Carousel:
When I list my creative outputs like this it looks like 'a lot', but I'm still battling with feelings of being under utilised. I feel like I have days after days where I am doing very little, and I notice I feel shame around that - like I'm opting out somehow. I'm curious about whether this desire to be busier comes from me (truly wanting to make more of the time I have), or from society (see Maisie's podcast about productivity above).
Also, if I had to share what's on my emotional Carousel right now I would throw into the mix: uncertainty of how life will be post lockdown, new and changing relationships to navigate, wondering where to live longer term, a business I built for 7 years that focused on in-person events, which is no longer viable - and the energy it takes to decide whether to wait, pivot, or move on; a whole society who is feeling pretty depressed and fed-up, plus recovering from a head injury a few weeks ago when I slipped over on the ice. There is a lot right now, but I notice that these emotional activities are not mentioned when I talk about my Carousel - it's all about creative output. I wonder why that is? When you check in with your Carousel, do you think about your emotional landscape too?
I nearly didn't include this bit, but feels it's important to give the whole picture. It can seem like it's all fun and games, but the behind the scenes can be tough. I'd love to hear if this resonates with you, or if it felt like TMI!