Things that have got me teary and emotional this week…
Listening to the lyrics of ‘I Do This all the Time’ by Self Esteem and finding the line ‘I’ll read again’ so moving. Yes - finding time to read! The image of taking time to sit and just read a book. It really got me. Who writes about reading in pop songs?! No-one. They should.
Wishing my family lived nearer - I would love to be able to pop round to see them for a cuppa on a whim.
How much I love swimming in the reservoir and how it can take me from sad mood day to bliss in seconds. Something happens when my body is in that body of water. And the simplicity of it always astounds me: IT’S JUST WATER.
Going to a Musical Theatre Rave last night with two friends. Feeling like I finally found the tribe I needed when I was 14 and the nightclub I needed when I was 18. Singing From Now On with 100s of people in a million part harmonies and led by a West End performer. Realising this is probably the way people feel when they see their fave band headling Glasto. Feeling the power of collective singing and how it shifted me from a slump to total joy.
Speaking to my coach today about how moving the whole experience was - trying to unpick the many layers of why it was so important to me to go to a night like that. Realising there is an inner teenager that never felt she had a space to go and party in the way she wanted to - belting out musicals in a club with likeminded souls and singers feels like a homecoming I didn’t know I needed! Someone came up to me and told me I was beautiful. This never happened when I went out when was younger, and if it did it felt sleazy. It didn’t feel sleazy or weird at a musicals night. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I felt and looked beautiful as I danced around to Oom Pa Pa in my flowy skirt with a huge grin on my face.
Completing a 45 minute recovery run on Saturday, even though I felt terrible and wanted to give up the whole way round. Realising that finishing these runs is a metaphor for getting through tough moments in life and that if I can show up for myself on these runs, something may change when life gets hard too.
Questions I’m holding about my Carousel life this week:
What is the right balance between paid work and time for creative exploration, which feels both financially and spiritually nourishing to me?
Creativity and creating come to me easily - how can I start to own this with pride in a world that rewards hard work and hustle?
Once again, there are a million different Carousels I could write today. There feels like a lot more reflecting to do about the musical theatre identity piece and what it’s stirred in me.
But for now…
Wishing you a wonderful week,
ps. what would it be like to notice what has moved you this week?
pps. Still haven’t resolved the Substack email issue and am still not getting direct replies - so comment on this or email me directly rather than replying to this. Thank you!
Love this photo, you look so relaxed and full of joy.