What happens when there is NOTHING on your Carousel?
Hello loves,
Wow, it feels like a lot has happened since the last Carousel, which is somewhat ironic given the theme of this month's newsletter.
What happens when Nothing becomes the Something?
There comes a time when there is NOTHING at the front of your Carousel. Nothing urgent, nothing that exciting - just unstructured space and impatient, expectant potential. When your identity and existence is made up of a love of variety, this can be a pretty scary place to be.
Following a project cancellation, three weeks ago I found myself flung head first into such a space: a big gaping hole of unanswered questions and existential angst. I spent what felt like a decade (but was probably closer to 72 hours) riddled with uncertainty about what I should do next, monologuing to every friend who'd listen about my rapidly changing plans to move to Bristol, or volunteer with refugees, or get a job in a cafe (at one point I genuinely typed 'Jobs in London' with no filters into Google.) Finally, I gave in, breathed out, and booked a one-way flight to Barcelona for two days later - a term I have now coined 'SPAINtenaiety' (thank you, thank you, gracias.) Spain is my happy place, and I knew it would give me the space I needed, guilt free.
What was funny is that as I was there in Barcelona, being in the nothingness, I kept thinking about all that I was learning and how I should turn my experience into a blog post, or a Carousel addition, or an experiment - which obviously completely defeated the object of my trip! I was reading a book called 'Not Working' and he summed it up for me beautifully when he said, 'sometimes I notice that my desire to not have any projects in itself becomes a project.' I laughed out loud and closed the book.
I wondered if it was ironic or hypocritcal to share these reflections with you now, and even debated not sending a Carousel at all this month. Then again, I also see my role as the creator of Carousel to test-ride all the different sections of it and understand how to navigate the highs and the lows. So forgive me for turning my nothing into a something, but after two weeks of allowing the dust to settle, it felt right to share all this with you. I've written up the experience here.
The Freelancer's Myth - Blog Post.
Thinking of quitting your job to do your own thing? Sometimes when we transition we can go from one extreme to the other. We think we need space but then suddenly have too much of it. We think we don't want anyone to tell us what to do, and then crave guidance. I've explored this conundrum in this blog post.
What I've been reading...
Everything I know about Love - Dolly Alderton
This is one of the best books I've read in a long time. It's laugh out loud hilarious, deeply sad and beautifully written. One moment Dolly talks about how she's never had a long term relationship, and her best friend from school says, 'yes you have - with me' - and then invites her to see that relationships are not always romantic, and that she has been able to navigate the ups and downs of a VERY long term relationship with this friend. The whole book is a gorgeous celebration of female friendship and the abundance that comes with that, not 'until you find the one', but in and of itself.
The Salt Path - Raynor Winn
A couple in their 50s lose everything (house, money, possessions) and decide to walk the South West Coast Path until they know what to do next with their lives. An incredible depiction of the power of walking as a meditation, a hard-hitting reality check about our prejudice towards homelessness, and descriptions of Devon and Cornwall that make you want to jump on the next First Great Western.
Digital Minimalism - Cal Newport
Reassessing our relationship with technology and our phones. The stand out section for me was about the importance of Solitude for our mental health. Solitude is NOT about spending time alone, but rather spending time away from external input. So, spending time sitting alone in a busy cafe could be solitude, even though there are lots of people there, whereas sitting at home alone but being on our phones (receiving messages and information) would be far from it. I entertained the idea of doing 'phone free February', but instead built a Buddha relaxation box for my phone to lie in at night time. Baby steps...
A podcast I loved...
If you haven't come across Jonny Miller's Curious Humans community, you're in for a treat. This interview between Jonny and Ed Dangerfield, a breathwork specialist from Bali, is a fascinating introduction to what we can learn from the way we breathe. I feel like understanding our breathing is something I didn't even think about until about a year ago and it blows my mind how little we know about something that we have a relationship with our whole lives.
I recently coined the term 'Activity DJing'.
When I DJ I often queue up loads of songs that I 'might' play later in the set, and always more than I'd have time to play. I was thinking how often I do this with activities, queuing up and planning many more tasks than I actually have time for and mentally creating a to do list.
For example:
Person A (when walking to yoga class): When I get back from yoga I'm going to put a wash on, ring my Mum, cook a really delicious meal for all my housemates and then journal for 5 hours, write a few birthday cards and then read my book for an hour before bed.
Person B: Stop Activity Djing! See how you feel when you finish yoga, you might just want to go to bed.
Events and things coming up from the Carousel community
Shhh dating! with Iona. Silent speed dating: connection games and eye gazing. Starts February 25th!
Love Carnival - the Latino night of DREAMS - this Saturday 29th Feb at Jago in Dalston
My comedy night - Rye Laughs - March 19th in Peckham Springs
The Wildsome with Joey - exploring, mountain skills, feasting, wild swimming, connecting with amazing people and landscapes. 26-28 June,14-16 August, 18-20 September
Yoga Retreat in Morocco with Kate at Power Sanctuary
The Awakening Festival with Kate Taylor (use discount code MAGIC10)
Ecotherapy retreat with Jenna. *Earlybird tickets available until end of Feb!*
When it Matters with Thea. My amazing friend, voice coach and singer Thea is launching a new programme 'When it Matters' to help people feel confident communicating on topics that they're passionate about, in business, and in everyday conversations. Think Toastmasters meets Authentic Relating meets Improv.
Finally... my next Power of Uke Learning and Development Taster on 26th March. Do you work somewhere that could do with an injection of musical joy? Come along!
What's on my Carousel right now?
Delivering workshops on battling perfectionism with the 3 cohorts of university students who are studying through the Dyson Institute; submitting a book proposal (my self-imposed deadline is this Friday!); preparing medleys for the next Day of Musical Joy; and exploring moving to Barcelona for the month of April... iQué bien!
As always, sending you love wherever and however you are. Hit reply and let me know what's on your Carousel! Also, I still have a few more spaces for Carousel coaching sessions. Get in touch if that's of interest.
Until next Month,
Sarah x