I don’t know about you, but once I realise I want to change something in my life, I want it to happen immediately.
Last May, almost to the day, I decided that I had to get a job.
I was so sick of the freelance hustle.
My soul was tired.
The relief at having found a solution to my money anxiety made me ecstatic.
I set to work, contacting friends, posting on Linked In, constantly refreshing the Linked In job notifications tab.
Now I’d decided I needed a job, it needed to happen soon.
Something I get my coaching clients to do is to make a list of things they'll be saying about their life in 6 months to a year’s time. So I decided to do the same. This was the list I sent to my coach on May 20th 2022 about how I wanted to feel about my ‘‘new job in a company.’’
🔥 I am stimulated (intellectually and creatively) by my work.
😍 I feel proud and excited by the work I do.
💸 I feel really happy with the financial reward for my work.
💜 I feel a sense of completeness and enoughness with my work, knowing there is room for all parts of me.
My coach prompted me to be open-minded - did it have to be in a company?
YES! (I’d replied, almost annoyed) I needed to work in a company - I was determined.
The sense of urgency I felt was profound. I was so attached to this being the only way of meeting my professional needs.
But I didn’t get a job in a company in June… or July… or August, or any of the following months.
And now, one year on, May 17th 2023, I look at that list and I can say yes to all of them. Amazingly, the coaching for teachers initiative I’ve started meets all those requirements.
And it’s not job in a company.
I’ve not had to give up any of my freedom or flexibility over my time.
I can still swim during the day.
I can go on holiday and take time off whenever I want.
(All things I was feeling restricted by when I explored getting a job in a company)
My coach was right, there was another way, but I was SO anxious to make it happen through the only way I had been shown how - traditional employment.
And here’s another thing, it took a year.
One year on I've settled into this routine, but only just.
I wonder, how would it have changed my approach if I’d allowed it to take a year? Expected it to take a year, even?
During the pandemic I wanted to move out to live on my own. That also took about 6 months to happen. Again, I’d wanted it to happen immediately, and was frustrated when I didn’t find a flat straight away. The flat I have now is perfect for me, totally worth the wait, but again, I expected instant results. How would I have approached it if I’d said ‘in a couple of years I’d love to live alone?’ and then be pleasantly surprised when it was quicker?
My podcast was supposed to go out straight away from recording: it took 18 months to go live. I had a constant sense of dread, of ‘behind-ness’. But maybe, if I’d have seen it as an 18 month-2 year preparation time, I’d have felt pretty pleased at the turnaround.
This is almost an anti-manifestation, anti-goal setting approach. I wonder how it feels to read? We’re told things can happen so quickly, ‘when we believe they’re possible’, but I don’t always think that’s helpful. If they don’t happen we can feel like we’re not trying hard enough.
So, how does it feel in your body to imagine the next change you want to make will take time.
No rush.
Allowing it to evolve.
I’d like to meet a partner. And I notice if I say to myself ‘by next summer I’d love to have met someone’ I feel my body totally relax. When I think I should meet them this week already, I tense up.
I wonder what you’re dreaming up right now? What’s a time period that feels calm to imagine that to happen within?
Btw, I’m not knocking those speedy shifts. I’m all for a overnight manifestation, serendipitous meeting and stuff getting out to the world quickly.
But I’m also wondering if slow-change can also be embraced?
A big hug to you all,
Sarah x
Things to listen to:
🎧 It’s been a minute on Boogaloo Radio but we are doing one final show to wrap up the Spring season before the festivals! You can tune in on Friday 19th May 8-10am at www.booglaooradio.com
🎙Dr Jude Galea, aka the reason I have a podcast, was my guest last week. It’s an incredible two-part about her brave decision to quit the medical professional (quitting is another thing that can take its time!) Listen to part 1 here.
I’ll leave you with a photo of my co-fasillytator Katy Schutte and I catching some rays before our ukulele workshop yesterday…. :)