Something I’ve come to know and love about being an ENFP / Carouseller is that a new routine is liberating, until it starts to feel like a routine.
Sending this newsletter every Monday had started feeling so natural that in the words of Robbie Swale of the 12 minute method ‘it became weirder not to send it’. But then something shifted.
After my last post on 27th October, I was ill for two weeks. When I finally opened my Substack that third Monday, I was starting to write the words ‘should I write this Carousel’ and NO JOKE my screen flashed off and stopped working mid-sentence. Three weeks and a hefty sum to the Mac Hospital later and I finally had my laptop back. And then I was ill again…
But there was something quite delicious about having permission not to write for a few weeks. It got me reflecting on the role this Substack was playing in my life and why I was doing it. I love writing, but I don’t want it to ever feel like a chore. The whole ethos of Carousel living is to work with what is alive, not to be bound to any rules or guidelines to serve an algorithym. So I am making a promise to write to you lovely people from aliveness, rather than duty from now on, From Now Ooooooon!
I wanted to share an aliveness list for 2023 - the things that have been at the front of my Carousel throughout the year. Maybe it will prompt you to consider your aliveness list too?
With all that’s going on in the world I wondered whether it felt appropriate to send this. But I also know that when we are privileged enough to not be in a war zone it is our duty to take every moment we can to live and enjoy this life.
My Aliveness List 2023
January
🌊 Swimming in Lake Bled in freezing temperatures.
🎧 A podcast episode with about whether it was time to quit the idea of having children. It was a vulnerable episode for both of us, shared hundreds of times. The mix of an edgy topic and an immediate, positive response felt very alive!
February
❄️ A run and cold dip in Sheffield with my friend Saz.
👩🏻🏫 I launched my Coaching for Teachers website. This work with teachers is deeply nourishing for me: its 1 to 1 so I can give someone my full attention; its very present and creative - I’m deciding moment to moment which techniques to use; and it’s so aligned to my values - I really love helping teachers! (I’m looking for schools in Brighton for 2024).
March
☀️ I took a holiday! This is very hard to plan and justify as a freelancer, but I did it and had a wonderful break. I wrote about the difficulties in planning time off here.
Spain epitomises aliveness for me: the whole culture is so spontaneous, full of vibrancy and about living the good life! Here are a group of people I’d met a couple of hours earlier at a flamenco concert. The Spanish are so immediately welcoming.
April
🎭 I went to a Musical Theatre Rave at Heaven Night Club. A real home-coming for my inner teen (and outer adult). It’s a night where you sing along to Musical Theatre hits with hundreds of other MT fans. A marmite of a night, I’m sure; but was a total dream for me!
I reached out to them and offered myself up as a Musical Theatre DJ and have now DJed at two of their parties!
🎹 A group of us from Day of Musical Joy (a community meet-up I run) went to play at the pianos at St Pancreas Intl. There was a gorgeous moment when a violinist from Brazil came off a train and starting jamming with us.
May
🏃🏻♀️ I trained for and completed the Hackney Half. I loved it! And wrote about it here.
👯♀️ I spent a week at a festival mostly behind the decks putting on 90s parties, Garage takeovers and a Disney + Musicals party. I have come to see that true giving is the activities that leave you feeling equally as topped up. This was one of those weeks. (No appropriate photos of this one, but trust me… :)
June
🏴☠️ My friend Kim and I performed a gig on a pirate ship. We sang Alanis Morissette and I did a few pirate puns. Dreamy.
🌴 I returned to Glastonbury Festival to work as Artist Liaison for the Greenpeace Stage, which included offering a Morning Singalong and a sunset DJ set in the Rave Tree. Epic!
July
🎹 My friend Christina and I led a Late Night Piano Singalong for Love Trails Festival. We expected 20 people to turn up, and instead hundreds did! Here’s a highlights reel of the beautiful chaos!
🧘♂️ For the first time ever as a freelancer I budgeted to have a proper summer break. It felt amazing. I wrote about it here.
August
🏠 The unexpected plot twist of 2023 was finding out that I had to leave my Hackney flat. The even bigger plot twist was deciding to move to Brighton! August was a lesson in feeling the feels, dreaming big, letting go but keeping the faith, and then intentionally visioning my new house set up. I drew up a PDF for a ‘Creative Residence-sea’ and sent out a wish list of who I’d like to live with and how I wanted to live. I found 3 incredible humans and we are having a lovely time.
🙏 I spent much of August in hyperfocus making my friend’s 40th Birthday Madonna video, which was soooo much fun!
September
🌅 What felt alive this month was giving my London chapter a ‘Beautiful Ending.’ I loved taking the time to visit places I’ve loved, see friends, and close the chapter intentionally.
🎹 I also created a new character called ‘Metrognome’ - a musical gnome about town. I led a piano sing-a-long in my best (worst) Eurotrash hybrid accent.
October
🌊 The move to Brighton. Settling in, co-creating a gorgeous home, swimming in the sea. I love the feeling of dating a new city.
November
💀 We had the culmination of the Death x Life Huddlecraft peer learning journey. It was an incredible event filled with interactive exhibitions, song, talks and connection. I showcased version 1 of my ‘Letting Go’ cards (something that’s feeling very alive to bring in in 2024…)
🤣 Comedy returned to my Carousel! I had a really biiiiiig processy coaching session and released a lot of stuck energy around my relationship with comedy. Almost immediately songs started to pour into my head. I’ve got a plan for a comedy music video in early 2024. Watch this space!
December
💛 Our first house gathering at The Creative Residence-sea was a Day of Musical Joy: a co-created community event of song, food and connection. This is our Sugababes Medley.
It feels good to reflect on the year through this more joyful lens. I also know there were moments where the aliveness was: my grief about children / life-stage, unexpected friendship breakups, finding myself without a home, being ill for a month, having a pest infestation, excruciatingly challenging conversations that pushed my to my edges. But I decided today to focus on the joy, and the colour.
Thank you for being part of this Carousel newsletter. I’m wishing you a nourishing rest and a peaceful start to 2024. I’m not sure when I’ll be in your inboxes next, but I’m looking forward to it when I do.
Big hugs,
Sarah x
Miss you, Sarah! I love reading about your life. When I figure out how to write posts and not just notes in Substack I’ll share more from my end too. Hope to visit you in Brighton one of these days! Your life looks dreamy. Thanks for all your vulnerable sharing too ❤️❤️