'I was too proud to get a part time job.'

Why we shouldn't ask our creativity to pay our rent...

Hello and Happy Monday,

I seem to be speaking to more and more people at the moment who are embarking on a Carousel lifestyle. 🙌

As they launch from full time work to setting themselves up from scratch I find myself tensing in anticipation for this huge lifestyle change, namely the sudden change in income.

It’s a biggy: going from a regular salary to having to create everything yourself. And if you’re anything like me, it can take years to get to grips with.

If I had to turn back time on my ten years of working for myself, one change I would make is to not be so damn stubborn about getting a part time job along the way…

Whenever times were low, I knew I had the option to return to supply teaching, or to take on something small, but doing so became synonymous with failure:

I remember sitting in my flat in the Autumn of 2017 feeling pretty sorry for myself. I’d been out of teaching for 3 years and I didn’t have any motivation to work on my business anymore. But I also wasn’t ready to chuck it all in. So many people told me to get a part time job. I dug my heals in. It would mean giving up. Any spare time I had should be on my business. I was too proud and ‘‘too qualified’’ to get a job in a cafe. I’d left teaching for a reason etc etc.

My therapist gently suggested that it might even give me some energy to leave the house, to be needed somewhere, to interact with other humans. A mentor told me that it can be a ‘great act of self care’ to get a part time job. But I couldn’t get my head around it. Meanwhile the main thing causing me anxiety was that I didn’t have enough money 🤷🏻‍♀️. I am sad to say that this cycle went on for a number of years.

I probably just needed to have a little pause and reset from ‘being publicly facing’ (something

Anna Codrea-Rado

and I talk about in today’s episode of Knowing When to Quit), but I didn’t quite have the awareness of that yet. It was either on or off, there was no nuance. No allowance for shifting energies or recovery time.

What I see now is that we are not linear beings. We’re not always on an upwards trajectory, (although society dictates otherwise.) We’re constantly breathing in, then breathing out. We have times of huge creative inspiration and times of deflation. Sometimes we are prolific and can create at the speed of light, followed by weeks of nothingness. It is not a constant.

And so we have to provide the structures to catch us in those moment of void. We have to make sure that when the business is not taking off as quickly as we hoped, when the funding doesn’t come in, when fewer people are signing up, when life kicks us sideways and everything has to be put on hold; that we are not relying on our beautiful creativity to feed us and put a roof over our heads.

There is no shame in bringing in money from elsewhere, in fact the future of your creative venture may depend on it.

If you are starting out in a more Carousel way of working and the idea of suddenly having to be responsible for your income is freaking you the f**k out, firstly, know that is really normal.

Secondly, see if you can find a way to fund your life, so that your projects can breathe and flourish independently of whether they earn money or not. Your new projects are like children, and they’re not expected to provide for you yet. Give them the space to play, to get inspiration, to dream without limits. Find the money from something else, until you’re in a place where your work can support you. Whether that’s going part time at the workplace you’re leaving (a really common one), babysitting, dog walking or tutoring - find some extra cash so that you can give yourself a breather.

Remember, this fund is not your ‘career.’ It’s not your purpose or identity. You don’t have to write it on Linked In. It doesn’t have to be the most meaningful thing you’ve ever done. But it’s going to free up so much breathing space for the things that do feel meaningful. This is where I went wrong. I thought that by taking on part time work I’d be abandoning my creative projects, but the opposite was true. Or I thought that having a part time job meant that I wasn’t a ‘‘proper entrepreneur.’’ Again, false.

I have a friend who is a music teacher and she also is a cleaner and gardener. These 2nd jobs aren’t her ‘purpose’ but they give her so much satisfaction.

I have a friend who is a writer who also works in an agency. She’s often wondering if it’s the right thing to stay, but she also knows it gives her the structure, stability and community to allow the words to flow.

I once found myself in tears of joy stacking a dishwasher on minimum wage at nursery school because I was just so happy to have a clear task! Omg freelancing can be a constant state of decision paralysis.

What is your relationship with part time work as a Carouseller? Maybe it’s always been a non-negotiable for you? Maybe you’ve always had one client that has given you the stability you need? Maybe you find yourself with similar concerns to me about identity?

I feel so grateful now that I have regular clients in the diary that give me that stability. I can’t tell you what it’s done for my nervous system to know that my basic needs are taken care of. And because I know I have guaranteed days in school each month, the rest of the time I feel full permission to swim, play music and move at my own pace. This feels like a revelation.

What decision could you make today that would settle your nervous system and give you time to let your creative self play?

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🎙 This week’s podcast episode is with the lovely

Anna Codrea-Rado

from A-Mail. We’re talking about all things freelancing, and especially the importance of getting an ‘anchor job’, a reliable income that can support your creativity. Packed with excellent advice, honest accounts of quitting and un-quitting various things, this is not one to miss!

Listen to the episode here

🎙 I also interviewed the hilarious Rosie Wilby from The Breakup Monologues podcast all about how getting our heartbroken can lead to unexpected joy and creativity…

A very heartwarming and uplifting episode. Do listen, she’s great.

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🎠 On my Carousel…

• Getting to grips with the commute from Brighton to London… definitely feeling the toll on my energy levels, but very grateful for the regular work. I’m finding that the change in cities has given me clearer boundaries around work + play. I’m enjoying lots of visits from London friends exploring the saunas, downs and sea.

• Since moving to Brighton I’ve had an influx in Power of Uke and 1:1 coaching inquiries. I wonder if there is a connection?

• I’m continuing to swim throughout the Autumn + Winter and have also got my new hosuemate along for the ride! She’s converted :)

📣 An ask

If you are connected with any teachers in schools in Brighton, please pass me on to them as I’d love to start working with some schools down here! Coaching for Teachers website.

Big hug to you

Sarah x